Shipwrecked - Chapter 140: Our Priorities (MF creampie)

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Chapter 140: Our Priorities

Something was troubling me about the Constitution we'd drawn up. I worried about the way the Council could create Exceptions to our laws. With the vote of the Council and the consent of a majority of eligible voters, fundamental laws could be overridden in a way which disfavored the minority. What if a Council and a majority of the population wished to outlaw a certain religion, or a specific aspect of speech which harmed no one? We'd discussed those sorts of problems, but we'd put in place a mechanism capable of codifying just those sorts of abuses of power.

I talked to Amy about my concerns. She had read the most about laws and rights over the last few weeks, and I shared with her my thoughts about the tyranny of the majority which might take place. “It is especially troubling given that the Council is also the judicial branch. They make the laws while also being the ones to interpret them. Right now, that's not an issue, but later...”

“Later,” Amy continued my thought, “that might be an awful temptation for those on the Council to change the fundamental laws in a way which harms people solely due to prejudice or perceived harm rather than measurable harm.”

I raised my eyebrows, impressed that she understood fully where I was going.

Amy grinned, “paraphrasing from one of the textbooks. It is a problem. I should have considered that more fully.”

“We all should have. I mean,” I sipped water from a metal cup as we sat on the step of our shelter, Kate nursing Azure nearby and Bailey and Katie down for a nap, “we did discuss some of those issues, but we opted to not create a court system yet, and we discussed the Exceptions as being something reserved for extraordinary situations, but, I feel we did leave that door a little too open.”

“Then we need to do something about it immediately and not wait,” Amy stated with confidence.

“What do you suggest?”

“We amend the Constitution to change the requirements for Exceptions, for one thing,” Amy began. “Make the Exceptions require a unanimous Council vote, and, like the US amendments, a three-fourth percentage of the eligible population. It still leaves room for abuse, but much less so.”

“What about times when Exceptions are for public safety?” I asked. “We can't count on everyone understanding the importance.”

“Then I would say it is vital that the Council fully explain the need for the Exception. If that can't be conveyed, there is something wrong with the Exception.”

“Fair enough...”

“Plus, as Chief, Kal, there is room for something like an Executive Order.”

“Rings a bell,” I replied, “but please explain.”

“You are chief executive and you have a lot of power as such. You could issue orders which protect people from themselves, sometimes. Sure, you can't restrict rights spelled out in our laws, but you can work in the grey areas to implement what you believe should be done. It would still be up to the Council to determine the legality should a petition be brought against it, but it would be a way to protect the people from themselves in the event of immediate harm.”

“Sounds like a lot of legal jujitsu. I hate it already,” I growled. “I don't like the idea of making things right by individual fiat. It shouldn't work like that.”

“Maybe not, but other leaders in your position have had to do that,” Amy explained. “Did you know Abraham Lincoln suspended the writ of habeas corpus? Granted, the Constitution allowed for that in extreme situations, but it was a very controversial proclamation. It allowed people to be arrested for all sorts of reasons and held without a judge's oversight. It meant a newspaper editor could be jailed for his paper criticizing the war effort.”

“Jesus. I hope I never have to do something like that.”

“Lincoln believed it was necessary,” Amy said. “He felt that to do otherwise was to allow those opposed to his war strategy to inflict terrible harm to the cause. It meant that the freedom of speech was restricted for a while, among other consequences.”

I let out a long sigh and shook my head. “Never knew that. But our Constitution doesn't make say we can restrict our laws by fiat of the Chief.”

“Not so directly, though, but I think it is clearly implied in the way the position of Chief is described.” Amy began reading from the text of our Constitution, “The Chief shall serve as chief executive and chief administrator, as well as commander of forces, with the safety, security, and welfare of citizens and those under care being of utmost importance. In times of crisis, the Chief shall take whatever actions necessary to prevent irreparable harm to the State or its citizens, up to and including instituting martial law.”

Amy set the document aside and said, “I'd argue that you have a responsibility to act quickly and decisively in whatever way you believe best, and if that means you must temporarily restrict rights, it would be difficult to see how you couldn't legally do so.”

“Goddamnit,” I grumbled.

“What?” Amy cocked her head.

I shrugged, “That just seems like a backdoor for some tyrant to take over and start changing the things we've fought so hard to see through.”

“You're losing perspective, Kal,” Amy cautioned, “remember, the Chief and the Council are elected. They can be recalled. A petition from the majority of the population causes an election to take place within two weeks. Some tyrant isn't going to make it far before people out them.”

“What happens if that tyrant jails enough people to keep a majority of signing the petition?”

“That would take the Council being involved. We haven't yet set out terms of punishment, and it would take a Council willing to jail people for the offenses in question. And that's on top of the fact that we have not determined how someone might lose their eligibility to vote. Even in jail, someone can legally sign a petition and cast a ballot.”

“You're assuming that jails and disenfranchisement aren't written into our laws.”

Amy stared at me a second with sympathy, then she grinned and wrapped her arms around me. “I love that you take this so seriously. That you are so concerned with getting this right. Kal, you are overthinking things right now. Yes, we need to worry about all that, but you are playing the 'what if' game to the extremes.”

“Reality is frequently played at the extremes.”

“By definition, not true,” Amy corrected me. “Extremes are fundamentally rare. They have a big impact, yes, but they are rare. Most of this island's decisions and issues will fall in the generally common range. We're not going to elect a tyrant any time soon. We're not going to elect Elders who will go along with a tyrant any time soon. While you're Chief, we're safe. I know this, and so do you. We'll figure out the rest as we go along. We'll make mistakes, we'll learn, and we'll codify what we need to in order to survive and protect what we cherish.”

“What if the majority don't see things our way, Amy?” I realized that was the heart of my concern. “What if... one day we wake up to find that the majority of people here don't want what we want? Don't value what we value?”

“Then we've created a system that lets that majority have their say.” Her frank words were all too true. “We've done what we can to explain our preferences, our values, but if one day, those are not the values of the people here, then shouldn't those people define their own society? Remember,” she said against my shoulder, “slavery was legal in the US for a long time. Later, people decided that wasn't okay, and they changed the rules. Don't we want that for those who follow?”

I nodded slowly. “I suppose so... I just don't like the thought of change, Amy. So much to consider now...”

“It is a ton, I know,” she said, pulling back and patting my leg. “This island is only so big, Kal. Only so many people can really live here. We'll always be a fairly small community. If we are careful about who we let in and how those people integrate with us, we'll protect ourselves for a long time.”

“You always know how to see the bright side, don't you, Amy?”

“I try. Besides,” she said as a soft cry of an infant came from inside our shelter, “I'm trying to look out for someone who can't advocate for herself these days. I'm optimistic that she'll grow up in a place that she loves, and one that loves her back.”

- - -

On November 11th, we did amend our Constitution to raise the threshold for Exceptions. After explaining my thoughts to those gathered, the Council agreed and everyone present, making up a majority of those eligible to vote, consented. Those in the North were informed of the situation, and no one objected or wished to contend the changes.

Tok had returned that day from the North alone, the outpost completed and watch shifts taking place each night. Rather than jump into chores immediately, I suggested he and Amy spend some time with Azure, and he carried their daughter while they walked down to the East in the early afternoon.

Gale came back briefly, as well, picking up some items needed in the North, and together, we paused to watch as Tok and Amy slowly strolled down the beach. “How are things with you and Tok,” I asked her, wondering if Tok's new child and the relationship it created with Amy had caused any issues.

“Great, Kal. Just great,” she replied, grinning broadly. “That just makes my heart sing,” Gale said, nodding towards the new parents. “I'm so happy for him right now. He and I have talked about his desire to have a child. And since it doesn't seem likely that my body will ever be able to do so again, we'd talked about what the options might be. When you told him the child was his, Kal, I cannot tell you how happy that made him.”

“What about you?” I asked.

She smiled and replied, “Sure, I'd have loved to give him a child, but I have no control over that. But I love Amy, you know. And I love my Tok. Anything that makes him happy makes me happy. Azure is a real treasure.”

Her words sounded sincere, and I heard no jealousy or concern in her voice, so I let go my thoughts and turned to her role in our governance. “What can I do to help you in Resources? What do you need?”

Gale shrugged. “Nothing just yet. I'm still gathering my plan. I do wish to discuss something with you, though.”

“Sure, I've got a moment.” I grabbed a bowl and dished out a small ladle of stew. It still needed a couple of hours to thicken and was missing a couple of seasonings, but my stomach was growling and I needed something to put in it. Gale declined an offer of her own, and we settled beside the fire on chairs to talk.

“We need to figure out how to handle our supplies which allows individuals to use them freely but also accounts for the fact that some things are in limited stock and we may run out in the near future. Things like sugar.”

I thought back to the way I often added a spoonful of sweetener to my coffee, and we also used it in deserts and porridge, and to enhance some of the heartier stews. “What do you suggest?”

“I'm honestly not sure. We've done a pretty good job of just letting things be used. So far, no one seems to be abusing anything in our pantry, and I don't know that we should change things too much. Perhaps, I think, we set some guidelines on each item which defines levels of abundance.”

“Sounds reasonable. Got an example?” I asked.

“Take sugar,” Gale replied, “Right now, at the rate it is being used, we'll run out in three months, maybe four. There's a point somewhere in there where it should be considered a rationable item. I'm not sure the exact point. Perhaps a two-month supply at current usage is a good starting point for sugar since we have no idea when we might next acquire some and we cannot currently produce it here.”

“If those sugar beets take hold, that might change somewhat, but point taken,” I mused.

“We have to assume they will not and adjust if they do. So, if we get to that point, the two-month supply of sugar, then it cannot be freely consumed. I will need to create a ration schedule, say, a weekly amount which can be used. With that, we could take a two-month supply to a four-month one by consuming half as much as normal. It wouldn't significantly hurt us here, and it would keep it available over a longer period just in case we need those extra calories.”

“Sounds reasonable,” I repeated.

“But that's just an example. Take rum. Right now, we still have three-and-a-half barrels left from what we got in the raid. We use it inconsistently, there's no pattern based on the records Manu has kept over the months. It's also not vital for our health.”

“Speak for yourself,” I joked.

Gale laughed, “Well, for most of us, anyway. The point being that there isn't really an estimate of how many months this might last. It could be three months if we hold a lot of celebrations and entertain guests, or it might be a year. I have no way to predict. Basically, for these cases, I suggest we determine a volume at which it becomes rationable rather than trying to predict a period of usage. I'd suggest one-half barrel of rum is a when it becomes so. Beyond that, it needs a ration schedule, as well.”

Gale continued. “Some things I don't think we really need to ration unless we get to a real crisis point. Our fish, our fresh seafood. Those we can get nearly endlessly most of the time, and so there's no reason to so carefully track them... until we have moments, like has happened a time or two, were the fish aren't biting and the clams aren't nearby. Then we need to immediately begin to worry about our dried and salted supplies. Otherwise, I propose that we set new minimal levels of those long-term supplies and so long as we maintain that, anything above it is not rationed. Say... a three-month supply of dried proteins makes sense. Any longer, and we risk spoilage before we use it. Any less, and we risk being undernourished in a famine.”

“Not sure what you need me for, Gale. You seem to have a handle on things well beyond me at this point.”

“Moral support, I suppose,” Gale grinned, “and you are the Chief, so I thought it prudent to run it by you first.”

“You have my blessing, Gale. This sounds like a very good way to proceed. I expect that you'll keep me informed anytime one of our supplies slips below or above a threshold. If we can find a way to safely trade, I'll need that information to prioritize what we seek.” Gale nodded and I continued, “When you've taken full stock of our supplies and have your rationable schedule ready, I'd love to take a look.”

“Give me a few more days. Still some details to work out, of course, but with the help of Amu, and Manu's excellent record-keeping, this has been a breeze.” She looked up and West towards the Sun. “I should head back. We're getting the East fields reworked where the irrigation has run a bit dry. Sure hope we get some rain soon. The lake is down a good foot. There's a spring under there, for sure, but we need the rain to push the reservoir high enough to provide consistent drainage into the ditches.”

“Amen... or something,” I replied. “If I could bring the rain by fiat, I would.”

“Nothing too strong before I make it back North, please,” Gale laughed before giving me a hug and a wet kiss.

“Will do.”

- - -

Rains did not come that evening or the next. Instead, the heat sweltered with little breeze to mitigate the warmth. It wasn't quite mid-Summer level temperatures, but the bright sun beating down didn't feel too far off.

Hakee had not made her decision yet, and honestly, that concerned me. I had wanted her to take some time to consider the idea of becoming the Vice-Chief of Phoenix, but the longer she went without responding to my offer, the more I worried that I had made a mistake in picking her. Perhaps I'd added stress to her life instead of an opportunity to expand. She'd not avoided me, not obviously, at least, but we'd spoken little over those days and the subject had not been broached again. I would give her a few more days before I felt that I needed an answer.

During lunch on November 13th, I called a meeting with Manu, Kate, and Tok to discuss our thoughts on immigration policies. Amy, who was quickly becoming our historian and scribe, kept good notes even while nursing Azure. Bailey was listening as well, with Katie sleeping nearby.

“We've got nine people right now on the waiting list, including Ekoh,” I began, “and serious concerns over how we determine whether those people are allowed to immigrate here. I was one of those in the minority who was generally opposed when we discussed this before, but I am open to changing my mind. I am willing to honor a majority on this issue rather than decide it on my own. I think that is only fair on such an important issue.”

“I think Hakee's point still stands,” Manu spoke up. “People are going to come live on this island, whether we like it or not. If we do not welcome them in, with conditions, they will arrive as refugees or pilgrims. Either way, it will be hard to turn them away if they show need. Better, I believe, to work out our rules first and then, with caution, allow limited immigration.”

“How many people do we think this island can realistically support?” Kate asked.

Manu shrugged. “With effort towards clearing the upper forest for crops and more use of the areas around the main camp, perhaps fifty or sixty. More if we could improve our yields, which Amu says can be done. No more than a hundred from what we could collect on this island, and I think that would push things a lot. With trading... perhaps more.”

“So, if we have a fairly low limit like that,” I suggested, “it is vital that we don't just accept anyone seeking refuge.”

Manu began to protest and I cut her off. “What I mean is... we can't save everyone, Manu. There are likely thousands and thousands of people out there who have it worse than us, who need what we have. If we tried to help them all, we'd starve. If we let in everyone wanting in until we reach our limits, how do we ensure we let in people with skills we need, like surgeons, or engineers? I'm not suggesting we cut off refugees completely, just that, when we have the chance to consider the applicants, we don't simply let them in because they asked. If they have something to offer, they get priority right now.”

My thoughts were met by silence and frowns.

“I know this sounds cold. I really do. I don't like that we are in this position. But the four of us cannot let our humanity overrule the responsibility we have to protect those already here. They must, absolutely must, be our priority. Anyone else is secondary.”

Tok nodded. “You are correct, of course. I see this.”

Manu's voice was full of defeat and acceptance. “So what do we do?”

We discussed, at length, how we might vet applicants. They needed references, those who knew them, to vouch for their character. We couldn't afford to have Uhonamona or any other place try to send their less savory, less reliable members to our home. Even with references, we were to maintain skepticism. If felt only right to conduct one or two in-person interviews, to allow some of us to give the person a sort of eye-test. We couldn't let people just show up on our shore the way we had Kunomo's nieces and nephew. Too much was on the line.

We prioritized skills we needed. Medical and engineering training were high on the list. Strong laborers with a history of pulling a fair share. Teachers, too, people good at helping to teach skills to others. Expert fishermen came next. Anyone with experience in construction and repair would be very helpful. Crafters and woodworkers, too. Skilled gardeners, food preservers, lumberjacks. Military experience was considered a positive trait.

We hoped to trade for fuel one day, so boatswains and shipwrights would eventually be useful. It seemed Ekoh might possess such skills.

Basically, if whatever you did was vital to your past community, we could probably find a way to make it useful here.

What we didn't want was the lazy user, the system abuser, the person who skated by with just enough effort to escape notice. We didn't want anyone who made their living from religion, we all agreed, and Tok assured us that such men did exist in Uhonamona. If you didn't labor for your supper, in one way or another, you were not welcome. We realized it might be difficult to identify such people. Even an interview and references might not be enough.

And we wouldn't split close families. If the mother or father was accepted, their spouse and children would come along, assuming none of them were considered unwanted for other reasons. We'd have to weigh that impact in our decision making. Should we take the mother with some basic medical training who also has five young children? Or, were we better off with six general laborers and fishers? There might be very difficult decisions to be made if there are more aggregate requests to join than spots available.

That's when Manu suggested, “a trial period. They aren't citizens until they've lived here three months. I suggest that everyone taken in is on probation, awaiting citizenship. Anytime before the end of that three months, if they have not contributed fairly or are otherwise unwanted in our community, they are returned to wherever they originated as soon as practicable.”

I nodded. “I agree with that. We still risk letting someone unbalanced or violent through, but we at least have a legal way to return them. Who is arbiter during the three month probation? Who decides if the person has earned citizenship or deportation?”

“Not the Council,” Tok replied. “We can advise, but I don't think we have that power. I suggest that responsibility resides in the office of Chief with advice from whomever he wishes to consult.”

I nodded. “I agree with that, as well. I will be fair, but I admit I feel more comfortable allowing immigration if I have a veto over who resides here permanently.”

“And we should not do this randomly,” Kate added. “We schedule ourselves two periods during each year when we will accept newcomers. Outside of someone washing up on our shore, or an extreme emergency, people from Uhonamona and elsewhere are only allowed to join during those set periods. That way, we can plan for the increased numbers and allow the Resources department to make projections and offer advice about our supplies.”

“Perfect. Yes, great idea,” I replied.

“I propose this first window opens January 1st and closes as soon as we have made decisions on anyone who has applied by then. We know we have nine awaiting us right now. I further propose we limited this window's available spots to ten and no more, with approval from Gale and Resources, of course. If we can't support that many, she'll know it very soon, I think, and we should adjust our limit accordingly.”

Tok, Manu, and I each agreed this all made sense.

After wrapping up a couple of other small details, there was silence between us. I realized something important had been missed. “This all assumes something I'm not sure we should assume.”

“What's that?” Tok asked.

“That it will be safe to travel between our islands. If we wish to meet in person with the applicants, we could either travel there, or they could travel here, ready to return home if we decline to invite them to stay. I'm much in favor of the latter. We should not risk ourselves in this matter, and besides, the main boat is nearly out of fuel. We couldn't make it there if we wanted to do so.”

Tok nodded. “Ekoh can transport, I believe. He can bring his two boats so that one may be sent back, along with the rejected applicants. The sailboat has a motor so it can move quickly, though not so quickly if being pursued...”

“We can only offer caution to those wishing to make the journey. I won't risk any of us out there right now, but if Ekoh and his passengers understand the danger and still wish to come here... I cannot see a way to stop them.”

And so that, too, was agreed. All pending, of course, Gale's answer to how many people we could support during this window of time. I knew I didn't legally need to consult with the Elders on the matter of immigration. The general powers concerning it were reserved for the Chief, but I wasn't going to be a leader who made decisions in a vacuum. Even though I still felt uncomfortable and was generally-opposed to the idea, I knew it was inevitable and at some point, we'd no longer have control of our own shores. We might as well make a plan to incorporate what was to come and make ourselves ready to proactively deal with it.

- - -

On our next scheduled call with the Uhonamonans later that day, I conveyed our decision on accepting immigration, and the woman on the other end promised to pass the information on to their Elders for consideration. She let us know there had been two different incidents with GS boats in recent days, one of which led to the death of four men on a fishing crew and the loss of their boat. She told us that many on the island were angry and were demanding the island join the war. She gave us the sense that this decision would soon be coming, perhaps in the next few days. I felt a sense of dread at that information, but I thanked her for letting us know.

Tok had known the men who were killed and grieved at supper. Not crying, but clearly mourning their loss. He said they were good men, good husbands. Tok wasn't visibly angry, but I could hear in his voice that he was. I wondered how long we might avoid being involved in the war. Involved again, I reminded myself. We'd already had small parts of our own, even as recently as the past few weeks when Tok and the others were caught up in a week-long cat-and-mouse trip home.

I was very melancholy as I took my post next to Nina that night. Her arm was doing okay. It was still in a sling, but she was using it anyway. It still hurt moderately, but Manu thought that there was nothing seriously damaged, even if there was a small fracture, and nothing further she could do anyway, and that the best course was to continued light usage for another couple of weeks.

“What's on your mind?” she asked me after we'd settled in.

“The War.”

“Hard not to think about it,” Nina replied. “It will come to us, Kal. That seems inevitable.”

“I know.”

“We're doing all we can. I promise.”

“I know,” I said again. “I worry that Uhonamonans are going to regret their decision if they take up arms and fight openly. I hope they have prepared themselves. They aren't a military society, but they are proud... and rightfully desire revenge for what happened. But how many people will die if they fight? How many will die who would have lived? And what would they do, anyway? Fight from fishing boats? That's absurd...”

“I expect they'd either send men to join Progress, or perhaps... well, the raid was a rather bold move, don't you think? Maybe they would have the hubris to believe they could take the fight to wherever the GS militias are based. I agree... seems absurd, but... I understand their pain and I can empathize with the desire to do something... even something which isn't wholly rational.”

“I think the decision is rational, in that you could arrive at it through logical steps,” I countered, “but I think the assumptions in that logic are flawed. You have to believe you are better off after you do this, but it is hard to see how that is the case. Maybe we overestimate the force GS can bring to bear. Maybe they are smaller in number than we think. Maybe a few boats and a small island or two are all they really hold.”

“When I was with PU, we estimated their strength at twelve to fifteen thousand. And I expect that number may have been low. We really didn't know, for sure. Educated guesses based on observations and the frequent engagements with GS boats and some incursions. If the Uhonamonans pick the wrong island to assault... it will be a slaughter.”

I shook my head, but didn't reply.

Nina stared quietly out towards the water. “It might seem like an odd time, but I really need to get off right now.”

Before I could respond, Nina leaned back in her seat and spread her legs wide. It was warm enough to be nude, and with her good arm, she started to masturbate freely.

“I'd love to help...” I offered.

“Please do...” Nina purred.

I slid to my knees between her legs. “Keep your eyes out there. It's your watch...” I grinned as I leaned closer to Nina's pussy. I inhaled her warm, briny scent, then dipped my tongue into her snatch. She'd recently trimmed her pubic hairs, the brown curls tight and short around her slick vulva. I lapped her rich, pungent wetness, her labia slowly parting with each pass. I teased her vagina then pushed deeper, licking Nina's inner flesh. She moaned and I moved higher to swirl my tongue around her erect clitoris.

“Fuck me, Kal,” Nina said suddenly, standing and leaning forward against the outpost wall, her head and shoulders pushed through the opening. “Fuck me.”

I moved behind her and stroked my cock a moment, growing hard before pressing the tip against her trimmed, furry pussy. Nina groaned as I sank inside. Her velvet channel yielded, radiant heat pulsing into my length. Her ass against my groin, I held her by her waist and pulled myself back until just the tip of my cock was inside her body, then thrust back in.

We fucked steadily for several minutes, rutting like animals. It felt great to fuck Nina like that. My groin became slick with her juices as my balls slapped against her clit each time I thrust hard into her vagina. I varied my stroke, going shallower a few times before pushing deep again. Nina started to cum when I picked up speed and began to pound her, my flesh slapping against her ass loudly. I added to that by smacking her jiggling buttocks with my hands, drawing moans of pleasure and pain throughout her orgasm.

By the time she peeked and her body was covered with sweat, I neared my own climax. I felt myself expand, growing stronger, engorged with blood and pleasure and the anticipation of release. I pounded Nina's pussy and spanked her hard, her body slamming back against me with as much force as I was sending against her. I grunted as I felt semen spewing from my cock, my seed splashing rapidly inside Nina's vagina. I held her waist firmly as I came, grinding myself inside her, every sensation of contact with her slick cunt sending waves of pleasure into my body.

I released the last of my load and relaxed, letting my penis rest inside Nina's pussy. Her cunt twitched randomly, fully of cum, and I leaned over her body to kiss her shoulders and upper back, running my hands over her lovely, soft breasts.

Instead of pulling out, I drew our bodies back onto the seat behind me, Nina still impaled on my dick. She sat on my lap, turning her head back to kiss me as we moaned softly. Her cunt continued to twitch and it was only a moment later that I felt my energy returning and my penis became erect inside her. Nina ground down on me for long moments, fingering her clit to another orgasm, and soon, I unleashed a second, smaller load of sperm into her vagina.

By the time my limp cock slipped from her raw hole, our crotches were covered in slick froth. We breathed heavily, my face against her shoulder, letting my teeth tease her sweaty flesh. “You have always been a great lay, Nina.”

“Mmm... not too bad yourself, Kal. I needed that...”

“Me too,” I agreed, then yawned. “As much as I could do this all night, I suppose I should try to get some sleep so you can get your own in a few hours.”

“Sleep well, Kal,” Nina said after she rose off of me and I wiped the mess on my crotch with a towel. I kissed her deeply a moment, then settled onto the mattress and quickly found much-needed sleep.